Battle for space

Got upto reorganizing my place again. Seems possessions have a way of piling up and creeping up on one. Since I shifted to my new place about six months before (  I've forgotten already if it was feb or march!), I've been trying to live a minimalist lifestyle. Beginning from guarding against having too much furniture, onto being ever vigilant about not letting things get out of hand wherein new stuff coming into the house is concerned. However I seem to be losing the battle.


I think what turned out to be very difficult initially was the kitchen. My kitchen wasn't big enough, and cooking being a newfound hobby, kitchen utensils and equipment started fascinating me. I would get inadvertently drawn to kitchen section of Ikea - drooling over the clever organizing ideas, seeing the ultra curved ladle, and clever sieve that seemed just must have for my place. Buying plates, spoons, dinner sets by dozens it seemed. A set of 12 piece stainless steel utensils breathlessly picked up in a mad rush at Dragon mart because the supermarket was past closing time (never used except, after I realized, we can only boil stuff in stainless steel stuff, cooking in it is literally impossible as food sticks and burns on the surface). I literally went mad shopping. Of course that is not the best way to go about equipping a kitchen and even today, I live with a fridge that seems a bit too small, and washing machine that I've splurged on, but that eats my clothes, chews them over in its maw like there is no tomorrow, and almost refuses to be done with them. Lots of utensils that I'd over indulged in have been thankfully passed over to hapless family, and others I tend to furtively overlook as they seem balefully to stare at me, due to my lack of use. I have idli maker, appam chetti, pizza tray, cake creamer, juicers, mixers in multiples.. list goes on and on. I also don't have some basic stuff which I would tend to find at my mom's kitchen, and those things I miss the most (khandni dasta, rotti patla etc). However situation has gotten so bad, that I was left with no place for anything new in kitchen and have to stop buying.

Well, I'm sure, all of you agree, that kitchen is a bitch to organize. But although it seems bad enough, its not what caught me by the blind side. I've got Naqiyah's stuff after all. Toys, books, clothes, cycles, floats even a boat! And every venture out to a Mall, every trip out of town, every outing to a new places or to old one at new time, is opportunity to buy more stuff. Yeah seems bad.. still not the worst. My sweet child, is the most considerate one on earth. On countless of occasion, we've walked into a toy store, or a supermarket, or a mall and walked out with nary a thing bought and she never complains. If ever there is something bought for her, its at my insistence. Mostly its she who's telling me, forget it papa, this is not so important. Specially if she elicted mild interest in something, and I started trying to buy it, whereas she was just checking it out. So yes, toys do take up some space, but they don't creep up on me, and getting rid of excess toys by giving them off to some other child in family is in fact is a rewarding experiance. Besides a lot of her toys tend to disappear as she keeps taking them from my place to Umaima's and boy am I happy about that! I guiltily encourage the toy migration sort of :)... So getting rid of toys doesn't pinch my concience too much ( specially giving away part) and toys don't create a problem wherein clutter is concerned. I mean they do contribute to it, but in a managable way.

Then there is clothes. Naqiyah's clothes which are every increasing in volume. Thankfully again, many of them I try to push off to Umaima's place and rest get old and can get happily discarded. So although infact she has more outfits then she can possibly do justice to, it is not a key problem. I personally don't seem to have bought clothes for myself in what seems like ages. Although my old clothes from Umaima's house are still landing up like a tide relentlessly washing-up debris onto the shore, to my house and I'm wondering why I have a polar weather collection of Jackets and winter stuff, I am happy enough ridding myself of any and all old outfits which I don't wear. Clothes are difficult but not impossible to control.

I have more major lurking problem. Something that’s piling on me by the days. Its the paperwork. Everything generates paperwork in this world it seems. Banks just love to inundate me with messages, letters, statements, offers and their favorite ~ Bills!... Then I seem to have phone bills which Etisalat seems to keep sending , and I don't understand how can I have more bills then the number of months that I've got the phone! Electricity bills, business related documents, company documents, contracts and legal stuff, old documents which Umaima's sending over from old house, the list is endless. Then I have invoices of daily spending, shopping bills, laundry bills, bills for every purchase made every day, warranty documents and credit card receipts and what not. Its endless. Also getting rid of each bit of paper of course requires careful scrutiny to ensure its not something important which I'll regret doing away with at the later date. Paperwork is currently my most pressing problem. I simply can't organize it right, and its every increasing quantity is bogging me down.

Second problem that is quite unmanageable is test samples. I inevitably get at least 4-5 couriers from China a month with settopboxes and other items. Sometimes in multiples per courier. Sometimes whole cartons full of stuff. Keeping this stuff (mostly its valuable, and generally even sending them across to me costs the factory atleast 150 ~ 200 USD which at times I  pay for) after its checked is a pain. Most of them are checked but not done with. Others are samples of my productions which I'm doing for some customer or another and I would like to have a test box myself. I even have Naqisat boxes named after my daughter, which I'd had no samples for, and actually bought the sample from the market!. So receivers are work in process, some are work finished, but like a baby, full of memories, most of them have cash value which is not possible to recoup. Throwing them away seems like a criminal waste. Keeping them is impossible!

Lastly ofcourse a problem that will eventually be much worse then above two and which historically has got me every time. Its Books. In India I used to be able to buy second hand books cheap, while I was growing up. So I had ever increasing piles of books, which I horded like treasure. From mags, to comics, to paperbacks both fiction and nonfiction stuff and some hardcover as well. I think it was always a challenge for my parents to find space for my ever increasing volumes, although I don't remember them complaining too much. Considering that upto 18 years of my life, I've stayed 5 of us (my parents, my 2 younger bros, and myself) in 150 square feet single room studio - which upgraded to 100 feet single room studio for another 5-7 years after our old place fell down and we shifted to a smaller rented place, crunch for space has been single factor why I still don't have all those tomes. But giving up books used to be most difficult thing for me to do. Painful even. However on shifting to Dubai, need to fend for bare necessities of life. And the cost of books ( second hand were unavailable), meant that economically it was impossible for me to buy books. However since I've shifted to my new place, I’ve got sort of independence to indulge. And indulging I am!.. Hell I have started picking up hardcover copies of books which I've already read (Dune for instance). I'm much more discerning about which books I do read. This is simple result of having wide choice of books available to buy since I'm buying new ones ( for second hand books, the choice is limited to what is available after all). Now add all the books that I keep picking up (simply must have, have to etc) for Naqiyah ( just the other day I was all excited to show her latest stuff I bought for her, and she innocently asked me - whats so important about books?), and I know that books are going to be one serious problem for me in future.

So here I find myself back in Ikea. Shopping for furniture. After having promised myself to keep the walls bare, and floor empty. Living space that one could breath in. Having lived in confined space for a big part of my life, open empty space seems like a luxury that I love to indulge in. Problem is not even existing stuff which I have horded, rather the problem is that uncoincously it seems I've decided to allocate 2 of existing Cabinets in my house to books, current and future. I understand now, as I'm writing this blog, that books are what forced me into Ikea again. I also understand that open space is a luxury I can't afford to give up. I can't stop buying books. Can't stop reading. But I simply have to stop keeping them! I've just got to learn to give away books that I've read.

Honestly, considering that now I'm infact into collecting all books of authors that I like, and often find myself eyeing even books which I have ebooks of, and which I've already read (catch22, Asimov's foundation series, Life of pi, Tolkiens trilogy.. etc etc) to name a few as happened  just on my current visit to Kunokinya (as I said, I actually pickedup Dune hardcover, even though i've read it already maybe 3 times)... I find it hard to imagine how I'll resolve this one!

Colored objects - friends

Just had a two hour Chat with Bindi, 3 am my time.. should make it between 2:30 and 4:30 am her time.. Deep night..the time when the world is sleeping and moon reigns over her silent domain. In depth of the night where we recoup and recuperate our energies, lost to the world, in touch with our deepest feelings and desires, communing and communicating with our souls, were us.. me and bindi, awake.. interacting.. sacrificing the ethereal, to fulfill the calling of the bond.. that is very real.




Maybe she was a bit tired.. did make some noises , Gym, housework, outing for a movie, drinking with friends over at her place.. the usual stuff.. nd really I did not expect her to keep her promise to be online after she’d be back from her movie. But she was, and she did. Nd I realized I hated the word friend. Its too generic, too general. As I told her.. calling her a friend, is like calling referring to a rainbow and a rock in the same way, yeah, the rainbow is a colored object you see in sky, and yeah a rock.. that’s a colored object too.. All colored objects.. rainbows , rocks, flowers and trees, birds and bees,…. All colored objects, all friends.. so where’s the differentiation. Hope you know what I mean.

This colored object stayedup at night to chat with me, far far away, but yet so close maybe because she sensed, that I was a bit lonely and needed her… and for me, for the lack of any other words, I’d say.. she’s a friend.. a good one at that for sure.. but a friend.

Talking about colored objects, I was pleasantly surprised this week by 2 more.. One of whom found me after maybe 20+ years of having lost touch. Zahabia touched my life for a short time, but made a deep impression, when we were mere teens.. still growing, in Malad at my grandmom’s place where we happened to meet. 20+ years hence she connected with me, mother of twins, staying inexplicably in Dubai, just as I am, on facebook and I don’t know what to talk to her!

Second one is Zebun, whom I happened to trace. My memories 15 years past, of a philosophy student, bubbling with theories and ideas, standing at bus stop or sitting in canteen, or even at her place in colaba, or visiting Jehangir art gallery together.. We shared an eclectic tastes. Nerds is the word that comes to my mind. She used to refer to my theory of human existence as ‘theory of Man as Chemico Physio being devoid of a soul – perhaps’ . But we shared a bond. A deep bond. Then she moved off to Andoman Nicobar of all places, and we lost touch. I remember a letter, painstakingly typed out on a type writer which I’d gotten hold of in Malad, never posted – perhaps. I found her on FB. Mother of two children. A teacher, Again I don’t know what to say to her…

So these objects come in various hues and shades, dark or bright, lasting or about to wear off at first wash, deep and somber or gray and light.. and ofcourse these colored objects.. of various hues and intensity , of myriad flavors, the reds, the blues, violets and the grays, the blacks and the whites, the pinks and the magentas , the earthy browns, and the sky blues… we sweep them all into one term.. friends..



Sounds inexplicable to me.. is human language , is english language, at such a loss for word sounds?

Working again!

Wow ! its like getting my Mojo back. Me working again.. Seems like a long time since I didn't work seriously. Today I'm back, plotting and planning and strategizing. A clarification to those who think, i'm just a lay-a-bout.. who at the rest of the times is wasting time in myraid pursuits which amount to nothing - you're right !...

Most of the time that i do mundane repetative things, to me it feels like they amount to nothing. Even if those things constitute important part of initiatives that are already on the go, and need to betaken to their logical conclusions. New is exciting. Old is .. well.. its old ain't it? Why should I even wonder what it is.. its gone, past, finito, bye bye.

So here I am .. geared up, excited again. Thinking of new projects, initiatives. Strategies to revamp current businesses.  Researching techniques and technologies ( fancy way of saying, studying stuff that I ought to know already) to update and upgrade myself to be back in the groove..

Feeling good....

Peepli Live and Predators back to back

Watched Predators at dubai mall. Entertaining film but then I have sweet spot for Sci-fi Fantasy type films. Does justice to the original Predator film, and I believe shall be start of a successful franchise. I watched Alien versus Predators too, but it was like virgin mary, as compared to drinking bloody mary this time. Not the same thing. In my opinion, Predators is excellently made movie and I would rate it   at  3.5 out of 5. I liked Adrian Brody - although 'The thin red line' and 'The Pianist' did him more justice, Alice Braga was not believable as a hardend super soldier ~ I'd seen her earlier in 'I am the Legend', but other Cast - specially Laurence fishburne were simply awesome. I think the action sequences and story could have been done a bit tighter as overall the sense of being preyed upon and the urgency and the horror of it is missing in this one. It wins on concept, storyline, special effects and awesome cast.

One of the memorable scenes which really floored me was the image of the sky with multiple planets hovering around the skyline. Awesome. Reminded me of 'Nightfall' an Issac Asimov short story that had impressed me a long time ago. Later I was to learn, that it had been voted best Science Fiction Story ever written by American Sci-Fi writers in 1968. Now a days I often find myself searching for the likes of Asimov, Herbert and Tolkiens. When I walk into a book store usually I despair at the available fare in Sci-fi section.

Peepli Live is more of a downer. Excellent idea for a movie and important one at that. But I think the movie was in shambles. Story was all over the place and director failed to create an emotional connect between Natha and the audience. The plight of the farmer, the gravity of loss of land and livelihood all were paid lip service to, but the message was verbal rather then an emotional one. I think the writer and director couldn't decide what would draw in the audiences - Farmer suicide issue, Media circus issue, the Political issue or just some funny parts and hence tried to capitalise on all aspects and delivered non particularly well. Yes performance of Omkar Das was excellent, Raghuvir Yadav shined as he did not over act as sometimes I feel he does, and even other casts like Shalini Vatsa as Natha's wife, and Farrukh Jaffer as Amma (my favorite), and Nowaz as Rakesh were excellent. However inspite of Aamir's production, good concept and excellent cast I came away feeling that the film was an excellent opportunity wasted. It has Aamir's name attached to it, but not much of his magic.  Nasuruddin Shah was wasted in the movie. If he is caricature of some politician that they wanted to portray, its all well and good, but for me he added no value. A huge loss I believe when I think of Ishqiya and 'Dil to baccha hai ji'. I'd give it 3 at the most, entirely due to good show by cast. I am saddened by the lost potential of this important issue, that could have made such a great film!

Wu Liang Shou Jiang - Amitsayu Buddha Sutra

Yeah right.. thats what I was looking for! 1 hour long sutras in chinese to make my day.. Who'd have imagined, I'd be listening to those today. So how did it happen - eh... Its like I'm finally organising my music - I really don't know how to make sense of Window's Media Player still.. nd organising music is sooo difficult for me, never got around to doing it right all these years. But now today, doing it right. What I want to listen to - love - I keep.. others I delete.. Simpler way.. no ambiguities. Like is not good enough. 5 stars or the bin.. thats simpler way to do it.

Nyway I am going through songs.. enjoying.. from J'lo and Beyonce, to Motzart and Beethovan, Bally sagoo, to abhijeet, rehman and others... Awesome time.. Some surprises were to be expected.. but believe me, no way I had factored in 1 hour of sutras into the picture.

Nyway I just finished listening to Ohayoo Ohio  - Pink martini from Splendor in the grass on my playlist lineup ~ just trumpet and instrumentals.. When up comes this bell ringing like the cycle bell tingling.. and starts Wu Shang Shan  Wu Liang wa................ accompanied with light tapping on a drum in the background keeping beat. Beat keeps increasing in tempo steadily, as does the recitation. Recitation it is obvious is not repetiative. Rather it undulates, navigating through smooth rythmic syllables, words seemingly of same lenght and structure, but different sounding. And it meanders through your senses, rising and falling ,like a tide.. tempo steadily increasing until it reaches fever pitch at which stage it starts decreasing again.

What, Why and how this came about I cannot imagine. Never had heard of it before now, and now ofcourse me being me, I have far too much information about it. Its the sutra of Pure Land Buddhism. Practise of Buddhism via chanting, visualisation and meditation with 3 basic approaches - Hui- Yuan practise of the contemplating Buddha  or Master San- Dao's sect with belief of vows and mercy in heart to beseech rebirth into Amitaba Buddha Land, Master Hui-Jih's idea to combine both practise of contemplation and practise of beseeching.

In english its called Visualisation sutra, as Wu Liang Sou Jiang contains within a subset Guan Wu Liang Sou Jiang, Guan which is meant to pertain to Visualisation, although we'd rather consider it to be referring to Dhyan in indian context which has much deeper meaning then just Visualisation.

So to cut a very long story short ( and long long story it is) Wu Liang Shou Jiang is story of Sakhyamuni Buddha's preachings to Vaidehi regarding attaining rebirth to Amitabha Land via power of visualisation.

He describes in detail the technique for visualisations about 15 steps culminating in the person achieving enlightned status and being ensured rebirth into pure land.

Crazy thing about it is, having heard it once already, here I'm listening to it again, twice in a row on the same day.. this thing is like a bug.. catches u and difficult to shake off!!

Harry Potter the doom and gloom

So Umaima called up at my place today. Naqiyah being with me last 2-3 days. She had ticks for Harry Potter - The order of Phoenix 3D. Wanted Naqiyah to go with her. Naqiyah said she didn't want to go, and being in one of her pertinacious moods stuck to her guns. Umaima asked me to try and tell her the story and see if she'd get interested to watch the flick.




I started to tell Naqiyah about Harry Potter, the poster child for children's books and beloved of many, when I said to myself. Harry Potter is not for Naqiyah. I was surprised at this assertion. Why should the very mascot of for the Children tales not be for a child I asked. But seems I was also in stubborn mood, and put myself down with ~ morbid tale dealing with death, prejudices and guilt.



Now I knew I had a point. Harry potter's tale is tale of death of his parents and Harry's guilt ( at having been maybe the reason for the same), prejudice held against him by likes of Snape, Rita Skeeter, Umbridge etc etc. List is endless. Starting with cruel treatment by Uncle's family at the very start, all the books have death and darkness as central theme. As the series evolves, it just gets worse and worse.



The books do star children and have them as central character. This and the fact that the language is lucid, the tale is fantastic and magical, seems to have deluded many into mislabeling the series as children's tales!



I disagree strongly. Maybe for teenagers and above these books may be interesting. Yes indeed the magical implements and concept of flying broomsticks, magic wands, giants and dragons etc are fascinating to even younger lot. But on the whole, I've read much much better children's books ( so to say appropriate for children) then these. Same way as Cinderella was a tale about stepmother and cruel sisters.. and at its time may have been appropriate and ringa ringa roses is poem about kids falling down from small pox, and almost all nursery rhymes of Victorian era have similar dark themes .. I believe we are a little more civilized now, and children don't need desensitization towards hurt, cruelty and bad behavior.



Last Airbender comes to mind, just about now. Yes it has its part of violence, but atleast Avatar the boy is told by spirits ' It is not your role to hurt others - avatar is for all and should protect all' and the underlying theme of the movie is that he sets out to win 'hearts and minds'. As tongue in cheek and cynical it may be (referring to US hearts and mind campaign in Iraq and Afghanistan) however our younger generation deserves education on responsible application of power, and abhorrence of violence.

The Brown Bunny

What is Genius I wonder. Are the genius's only so, if world acknowledges them to be so? Is it a people vote and popularity that counts? 

Vincent Gallo ~ writer, director, producer, actor of The Brown Bunny. A tragedy with a buildup that is so poetic in its presentation and simple in style that left me breathless - literally. Again like Murakami, he'd shock you... not for faint of heart to see this. A tragedy, the pain, the anguish of loss.. the story of love and remorse.. of an unfair reality of our existence.. make a mistake and time marches on.. no way to recoup, no way to recover the loss. Time may heal some wounds, and that my friend is questionable, but certainly scar shall always remain!

For Vincent ~ someone who I never knew, never sought out, the movie which I'd never heard of and happened to watch as an unlikeliest of chance.. to have rewarded me with such profound experience.. I'm thankful and grateful.

So as I said.. what is genius... does it need the world to say he's a genius for me to acknowledge him as such? Or is the work a piece of Genius and he just happened to be the one who delivered it. I don't know. But I think he is!!!!


- A note of caution. I read up on this movie today a bit. 90% of audience walked out of the movie before the end. It has been trashed badly and called Worst movie to feature in the HISTORY OF CANNES festival.. and a celebrated critic wrote that he'd rather enjoy video of his colonoscopy more.

But having said that.. the fact is also, that some reviewers on rotten tomatoes (my fav review site) seem to have got the same feeling I have, with at least one of them using the same term that I used forVincent - Genius'