So how many times have you been faced with an option... lose it or lose it.. sort of out of the fire into the frying pan style????
Well, for the hell inviting disbeliever in all major religions God finally invented a vision of hell on earth for me. Sorta to show me who's the boss you know kinda... Well so be it dear God.. I already told you I welcome Hell so why bother with this little old disbeliever and not carry on with your grander scheme of things???
So situation is as follows.. about 10 days or more have not seen my beautiful darling soul and heart my daughter who makes my heart beat.. i'm proverbial genie whose soul lies in the parrot, so he cant be destroyed unless the parrot is destroyed so to speak as in fables... well... my parrot if any is certainly my darling gracious, smart and sweet daughter who's the oxygen in every breath i take.. and without whose existence I have no meaning nor any wish to be!
So here's me having spent 2 glorious month almost every day in company of my daughter.. 2 months that I did not travel, 2 months that I did not even do much work... just her, me and our daily plan of activities.. activities designed to challenge, educate, thrill and enervate..
Swimming and diving for her body and soul.. confidence and achieving a goal
Arabic daily cause her shirking from this in school creates a whole lot of unhappiness in her educational life
Typing cause this will give her independence and freedom to think her thoughts and put them in electronic form without bothering about qwert.. while giving her heads up in life .. ofcourse also because I can touch type and if I can so she should ..
Skating because she asked for it.. yes she got damn good at it, and i bought two not one pair of gear for her one for my place and one for her mothers home.. but it did hurt my ego to have her challenge me and lose EVERY time :).. but also did make me a very very proud parent ofcourse!
Cooking cause the food is essence of life, I recently proved to my friend who thought surviving on bread and butter was enough for a camping trip, I showed her that without my barbequing and cooking the trip would be a bunch of strangers who travelled together, now we are a group of close friends who care for each other.. cooking and food is basic ingredient that brings people together.. imagine any occasion, celebration or sad occasion, felicitation or memorial.. without food.. its not complete.. cooking touches all our senses, sense of smell touch taste and hearing, sight and sound..... sense of camaraderie, of accomplishment , fullfills our hunger and achieves fullfillment.... so cooking with me she bonded withme closer then I have had anyone bond with me before
She read, I read.. I created stories, even wrote down stories in anticipation of having to tell her one at night.. we discussed and chose books, stories and characters discussed facts and fictions and fallacies and greatness of characters within..it was an endeavor to transfer my ideas, my thoughts , my learning, my experiences to her...
She played games.. started with some arcade games on ipod touch and samsung note temple runs fruit ninja, some online kidzo games and girls go games , xbox iceage, ben tens etc designed for kids to while away their times trifling with nothings , hand and eye coordinations , reflexes, designed to keep them occupied.. but i introduced her to adventure of strategy gaming, of building empires and creating forces, the importance of resources and rock paper scissor nature of makup of earth's forces..then added warcraft a glorious mmorg.. massively multiplayer online game 10 million players online.. all competing and immersing themselves in the world of magic and mystry of honor and greatness.. world where your organisational skills, problem solving skills, your skills at cooperating with others, and garnering your resources to achieve goals mattered... and she was hooked.. hooked by the magic, by visuals, by the gameplay by the fun..
so she would negotiate.. 15 mins of typing should get her 1 hr of war craft or empire earth.. 1 hr of arabic should get her swimming and diving time from me... ofcourse i was happy to give in.. my child needed fun, games , liberty to thrive as much as she needed education
Then came a day.. after the first and second fast within a month.. one on 27th day Rajab understandable and another on 23rd day ramadan (because jagwani raat) my wife made her fast the 24th also... I questioned.. why why oh why should my child fast!!.. my lovely child is underweight.. her food is constant concern for both me and my wife.. my wife hardly fasts and does so arbitrarily.. if she does she still doesn't pray namaz.. and finally cannot even read Quran nor do many things which are mandatory if she really was an orthodox conservative extremist who'd make the children starve....
She retorted that her doings were her concern and I had no say in them... she knew what was best for her daughter and me a vagabound uncaring person had no idea what I was saying about , that her daughter was a bori muslim and would fit into the norm.. well so be it.. who am I to take away from my daughter's identity , her sense of belongling, after all I had told my wife to take a cheque from me , pay to the community their yearly charges for being the part of the bori community, just cause she and my daughter should have the choice..I gave it second thought.. told her.. ok, you make her fast if you want to , but only if my daughter agrees......
My wife in her classic way retorted.. Fuck you.. you are the one making my daughter swim against her wishes.. her body hurts.. you make her play warcraft against her wishes.. she has nightmares.. so fuck off... I was shocked.. whether I thought so or not, according to mother of my child I was a bad bad bad father.. an insult to fatherhood and a danger to my daughters well being..
weekdays I would keep my daughter.. according to my wife's dictat I could not leave her alone with my maid of 4 years keeping even for few hours.. so be it.. past 2 and half years i've survived that way.. sacrifised work and meetings to be home home and always home... past 2 months always home, no way to go out of my house alone without my daughter in tow, and believe me never once taken my daughter to a biz meeting where she would be bored... but even so, its my wife's decision.. "give her to me" she calls me an hour prior to her sudden arrival, and I have to handover my precious gem to her, "take her tomm afternoon" she commands and I oblige a faithful fool turning up at her doorsteps to collect my precious...
So it happens that after my wife tells me that I am a bad influence for my daughter never a word comes to take her.. never a word to see my daughter.. never even my daughter who'z used to living sleeping, being with me tells me on phone she wants to see me.....!!
And my wife tells the world on facebook how some atheists ( namely me ) are violent bastards ... I can't take it and block her id but still.. violent ... me... bad for my daughter.. me.... I am reeling in shock...
and so have passed more then 10 days.. me without my daughter.. my daughter without me.. and so I am prepared to pass a life time..
Cause who's the fucking man.. to decide whats good or not for a child, when mother of the child knows whats the best for her.. who am I to involve my child in a tug of war.. when mother of my child would happily show me down.. who am i to listen to my child's plea.. when she tells me she misses my cat not me...
Well, for the hell inviting disbeliever in all major religions God finally invented a vision of hell on earth for me. Sorta to show me who's the boss you know kinda... Well so be it dear God.. I already told you I welcome Hell so why bother with this little old disbeliever and not carry on with your grander scheme of things???
So situation is as follows.. about 10 days or more have not seen my beautiful darling soul and heart my daughter who makes my heart beat.. i'm proverbial genie whose soul lies in the parrot, so he cant be destroyed unless the parrot is destroyed so to speak as in fables... well... my parrot if any is certainly my darling gracious, smart and sweet daughter who's the oxygen in every breath i take.. and without whose existence I have no meaning nor any wish to be!
So here's me having spent 2 glorious month almost every day in company of my daughter.. 2 months that I did not travel, 2 months that I did not even do much work... just her, me and our daily plan of activities.. activities designed to challenge, educate, thrill and enervate..
Swimming and diving for her body and soul.. confidence and achieving a goal
Arabic daily cause her shirking from this in school creates a whole lot of unhappiness in her educational life
Typing cause this will give her independence and freedom to think her thoughts and put them in electronic form without bothering about qwert.. while giving her heads up in life .. ofcourse also because I can touch type and if I can so she should ..
Skating because she asked for it.. yes she got damn good at it, and i bought two not one pair of gear for her one for my place and one for her mothers home.. but it did hurt my ego to have her challenge me and lose EVERY time :).. but also did make me a very very proud parent ofcourse!
Cooking cause the food is essence of life, I recently proved to my friend who thought surviving on bread and butter was enough for a camping trip, I showed her that without my barbequing and cooking the trip would be a bunch of strangers who travelled together, now we are a group of close friends who care for each other.. cooking and food is basic ingredient that brings people together.. imagine any occasion, celebration or sad occasion, felicitation or memorial.. without food.. its not complete.. cooking touches all our senses, sense of smell touch taste and hearing, sight and sound..... sense of camaraderie, of accomplishment , fullfills our hunger and achieves fullfillment.... so cooking with me she bonded withme closer then I have had anyone bond with me before
She read, I read.. I created stories, even wrote down stories in anticipation of having to tell her one at night.. we discussed and chose books, stories and characters discussed facts and fictions and fallacies and greatness of characters within..it was an endeavor to transfer my ideas, my thoughts , my learning, my experiences to her...
She played games.. started with some arcade games on ipod touch and samsung note temple runs fruit ninja, some online kidzo games and girls go games , xbox iceage, ben tens etc designed for kids to while away their times trifling with nothings , hand and eye coordinations , reflexes, designed to keep them occupied.. but i introduced her to adventure of strategy gaming, of building empires and creating forces, the importance of resources and rock paper scissor nature of makup of earth's forces..then added warcraft a glorious mmorg.. massively multiplayer online game 10 million players online.. all competing and immersing themselves in the world of magic and mystry of honor and greatness.. world where your organisational skills, problem solving skills, your skills at cooperating with others, and garnering your resources to achieve goals mattered... and she was hooked.. hooked by the magic, by visuals, by the gameplay by the fun..
so she would negotiate.. 15 mins of typing should get her 1 hr of war craft or empire earth.. 1 hr of arabic should get her swimming and diving time from me... ofcourse i was happy to give in.. my child needed fun, games , liberty to thrive as much as she needed education
Then came a day.. after the first and second fast within a month.. one on 27th day Rajab understandable and another on 23rd day ramadan (because jagwani raat) my wife made her fast the 24th also... I questioned.. why why oh why should my child fast!!.. my lovely child is underweight.. her food is constant concern for both me and my wife.. my wife hardly fasts and does so arbitrarily.. if she does she still doesn't pray namaz.. and finally cannot even read Quran nor do many things which are mandatory if she really was an orthodox conservative extremist who'd make the children starve....
She retorted that her doings were her concern and I had no say in them... she knew what was best for her daughter and me a vagabound uncaring person had no idea what I was saying about , that her daughter was a bori muslim and would fit into the norm.. well so be it.. who am I to take away from my daughter's identity , her sense of belongling, after all I had told my wife to take a cheque from me , pay to the community their yearly charges for being the part of the bori community, just cause she and my daughter should have the choice..I gave it second thought.. told her.. ok, you make her fast if you want to , but only if my daughter agrees......
My wife in her classic way retorted.. Fuck you.. you are the one making my daughter swim against her wishes.. her body hurts.. you make her play warcraft against her wishes.. she has nightmares.. so fuck off... I was shocked.. whether I thought so or not, according to mother of my child I was a bad bad bad father.. an insult to fatherhood and a danger to my daughters well being..
weekdays I would keep my daughter.. according to my wife's dictat I could not leave her alone with my maid of 4 years keeping even for few hours.. so be it.. past 2 and half years i've survived that way.. sacrifised work and meetings to be home home and always home... past 2 months always home, no way to go out of my house alone without my daughter in tow, and believe me never once taken my daughter to a biz meeting where she would be bored... but even so, its my wife's decision.. "give her to me" she calls me an hour prior to her sudden arrival, and I have to handover my precious gem to her, "take her tomm afternoon" she commands and I oblige a faithful fool turning up at her doorsteps to collect my precious...
So it happens that after my wife tells me that I am a bad influence for my daughter never a word comes to take her.. never a word to see my daughter.. never even my daughter who'z used to living sleeping, being with me tells me on phone she wants to see me.....!!
And my wife tells the world on facebook how some atheists ( namely me ) are violent bastards ... I can't take it and block her id but still.. violent ... me... bad for my daughter.. me.... I am reeling in shock...
and so have passed more then 10 days.. me without my daughter.. my daughter without me.. and so I am prepared to pass a life time..
Cause who's the fucking man.. to decide whats good or not for a child, when mother of the child knows whats the best for her.. who am I to involve my child in a tug of war.. when mother of my child would happily show me down.. who am i to listen to my child's plea.. when she tells me she misses my cat not me...
