Back finally

After more than a year's enforced break, i'm finally back on my blog. The break was a stupid sentimental resolution to have the next blog putup about my life long dream coming true - namely my own apartment in Mumbai. It seemed all was set, the payments had been made, the building was ready and I'd have got it in few days. However as it turns out, it took more then a year to get the place after all.  On hindsight ofcourse it seems a bad idea to stop blogging since I lost a year full of memories/musings which I could have saved for posterity, however at the time it did seem like I would get the apartment in no time at all.

Now that mandarins at Cidco and MSEB have cleared the row between them, the building has been granted the final OC and I hope we can have possession beginning next year and
Flat no. 601, Yash Apartments in Kharghar shall be all mine. All 1435 sq ft of it, although it is ofcourse bloated up figure as is case in Mumbai. The real amount of usable space, namely carpet area should be some measly portion of the above.

Hope to put up some pics of the place in this space soon :)

I wont let you go - by Rabindranath Tagore

I travel.. and I hate to travel, leaving the town a sad melancholy feel pervades my soul. I wonder at it. How do others do it? So, again a coincidence, that the first poem that I read from Tagore's compilation was this touching, sad one. The start is of him preparing to leave. I am noting down from the mid part:

Beside the door, wrapped in her thoughts, there sat
My daughter, four years old.  On other days
She'd have had her bath before this, and her eyes,
Before she'd swallowed scarce two mouthfuls of
Her mid-day rice, been shut in sleep. Today
Her mother had not seen to her: even now
She had not bathed or eaten, but like a shadow
Hugged my steps all this time, watching each move
With mute unblinking eyes. Worn out at last,
She now sat silently beside the door
With who knows what intent: and when I said
'I'm leaving,little mother,' with sad eyes
And pale look answered, 'I won't let you go.'
She sat where she was, neither clutched my hand
Norshut the door; only declared the right
Born of her heart's love: 'I won't let you go.'
Yet the time came to an end, and she, alas,
Could not but let me
                             O my foolish girl,
Who are you? Where could you have drawn such strength
To say so boldly, 'I won't let you go'?
Whom in this universe, O arrogant one,
Will you hold back with two small arms, with whom
Grapple, sitting beside the homestead door
With that tired tiny body, ony the store
Of that little love-filled breast? Here on this earth
It  befits the wounded spirit, with fear and shame,
Only to utter it's heart's prayer to say
'I do not want to let you go.' Who'll say
'I will not'? Hearing from your infant lips
Your love's proud vaunt, the world, taken with mirth,
Snatched me away; only you, vanquished, sat
Like a painted figure tearfully by the door.
I saw and left, dabbing at my own eyes.

OTT

I have avoided directly blogging about any thing to do with my business and technologies so far. But today I believe I'm at the vortex of technology that shall soon change the way world perceives and enjoys entertainment/information. Borderless news, information and programming. Finally a reality. So this entry is necciated. For posterities sake. To say ~ I was here :)

OTT -~ Over the TOP. It basically means Video/Audio stream carried over the top of the Internet. Sort of unassuming term we'd say. But it is important.

Consider this - In Iran Satellite dishes are illegal. You can't put up a dish to get programming. Only government sponsored bullshit over Terrestrial networks. In Dubai I can't setup dish in my building. Only can get signals from dish setup and allowed by the building. So I can't get Dishtv~ Tatasky, nor can I get porn channels on hotbird ( yucks!!!)

In India situation is even worse..all content is heavily sensored, and aside from political sensorship, there is huge cultural sensorship. Fashion tv buffs know how it was forced to go off air for certain 'mid night hot videos'

Be it political or cultural or any other sort. Good or bad. I'm not a judge here. All I can say is OTT will change the way content is delivered. Internet knows no geographical boundries. And my new OTT box which Vishal from Nextbit developed at my suggestion so magnificiently and with amazing technological perceptivity that it makes me proud to finally be working with Indian company for a change.

Some of the things we shall enable:
Setup ur own TV channel from your house in few mins.. play music videos - create your reality TV soap opera or just give news and views your own style!
Watch any content anywhere. In US watch asianet or malyali channels. In New Zealand watch Pinoy content. Go anywhere watch anything!
Settop box is finally your media center.. Internet surfing, Video Phone, Youtube, TV, Pictures and others.. everything in between.. Even remote PC client so you can access ur office from home TV!

The box in question arrived just 2 days back, after having gone through CID checks and passed them, in Dubai. Was delayed and hence ended up delaying my India trip as well. However it surpassed my expectations. Google TV, Apple TV and others are now buz words for the next generation of content delivery. Its nice to know we Indians finally moved from being workers for MNCs and developed our own product right in time. I'm International Marketing Director for Nextbit. It is my job to ensure that this box finds its right place in the world market. But associated with Nextbit or not.. I'm firedup with the idea of OTT. I love the concept. Its liberating experiance. And I'm bang in middle of the action :)

Enjoying the work and the challenge once more :) Though this is not all that I've done this week.. Also new is new L band project which will enable palm sized dish to receive TV content... Some action happening on tech transfer for some Chinese companies.. Turkey heating up.. Europe becoming interesting finally :) Lots lots happening !!!! Fun Fun Fun

Run like a dog, if you eat like a hog !

Thats what I tell myself when pushing myself to keep jogging... 'Run like a dog, if you eat like a hog' , helps! Also another one is 'You lose or I die' .. both are pep talks to myself. Keep me going, when my body protests and threatens to shutdown on me. Considering that I do eat like a hog and am in danger of beginning to look like one too helps :)

Physical sports or activities were never something I was ever exceptionally good at. However the need for putting in some physical stress to my lazy bums is obvious - if i'm to get through my thirties looking like  anything more than a lump of lard!

So here goes the written record of my progress in 1 - 1/2 weeks.. its not much but I hope to cringe at how little I accomplished if I give up in between and go right back at it - hence putting it in writing!

started at 1.5 KM per 20 mins on machine.. went onto 2.5KM in 25 mins again on machine and today did 4.2 KM free run in 30 mins

Yes far cry from 45mins 10KM which is my dream.. and 60mins 10KM which is the least I feel I should do... So this blog shall be my nemisis.. remind me that this is one thing that is on my wishlist thats yet to be done... its an update blog entry.. will keep updating in due course... hopefully

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6 Oct 2010

5.380 KM in 55 Mins today basically 4 rounds of 1.345 KM track... I do the rounds without stop at steady pace. Wonder if I should be increasing the pace and taking breaks inbetween... Needs experimenting with I guess

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Zero Dignity, little Pride!

7th Oct 2010

So I find myself back the next day in the park on the track. Today sans Naqiyah, as she is back at Umaima's house.

It seems not a good day for running (is it ever?), warm , humid ~ about 8:25 PM

I've had a redbull and imagine adernaline coursing through my viens. Start of with a bang.. thump thump thump.. I'm the cheetah, I'm the bird.. hell I'm the wind! I start pounding the track rubber. Nice.

About half way into the track ~ 600 meters mark, I'm panting... Cheetah's dying.. the bird's crying.. need a breather... slowing down I continue.. but not much.. seems strange I'm tired already..wasn't I the one who did more than 4KM yesterday. 55mins? what's it been just now.. just 4~5 mins! tired.. impossible.. My legs say otherwise.. my gasping breath says otherwise.. but I refuse to believe. I go on, complete the round .. 1345 meters.. about 8 mins I guess.. panting, I slow down this time. Time to get back on earth. Redbull doesn't work as advertised..want desperately to stop, take a breather.. but find myself going on.. across the short no mans land, between 1345meter Finish mark, and about 10 meters later a - 0 Start line... Once I cross the start line there is no stopping. Thats the rule!

Second round is worse.. my body is groaning.. seems jogging doesn't appeal to it.. unfortunately my body leaves a lot wanting in terms of appeal to me.. so pushed it shall be ~ let it groan! I continue

Somehow get through the second round, huffing and puffing all the way.. Need to stop. I stop! Mercifully I think to myself. Couldn't have gone on. There's always another day to come back to track and all.. take a small walk to the pond in middle of the track. Think I'll let my heart settle and then head off to the car. Few sips of warm tepid water from my bottle.. Look around.

Then, find myself off..third round it is.. cursing myself.. but after yesterday's 4 rounds, it seems i simply can't accept being defeated by only 2 ! have to go on.

Third one is uneventful, by uneventful, I mean I don't remember any event of the round. How I got through it I don't know.. promised myself several times I'd stop at that one. My legs are killing me.. I've suddenly discovered that some tiny muscle connects front of my knees to my shin bone.. That muscle was never noticed before.. Didn't know it existed.. Now its crying out for attention.. most important muscle in my body it seems to me currently.. or atleast the most annoying.. ah well, every dog has its day, as they say. Also the little toe between my littlest toe and the middle toe. For some reason the middle toe seems to be squeezing it into pulp. Its resenting this treatment, and relentless pounding I'm giving it. Third round is lost contemplating misery of my various parts of body.. Pathetic guys cummon! my head says.. my legs ask it to take over the job of running, and get down from its high horse.. head smartly demurs, but promises that its the absolute last round. No more.. until tommorow. Today's deed is done.. well done and all that.

Finish line approaches.. with relief I almost limp over the line.. look at the time, its a little less than 30 mins...I sigh, thats ok for the day I guess.. Need a break, rest between runs and all. After all I'm not a professional runner.. not even an ameture.. wonder, even wether would fit in the definition of runner at all, I checked.. over 12 mins a mile doesn't qualify as running.. I'm did 16 mins a mile yesterday.. wonder if its even jogging.. they should have another category - slogging... thts what it feels like!

Lots of thoughts,lost in them, I see myself off to one more round! This time I must be a pathetic sight indeed. Drenched in sweat, my feet trying to keep up with my body. Suddenly weight of the 250ml small sized half full bottle of water is all important. My right hand pushes it to the left. Its been carrying it too long. Some guy passing in opposite direction says some encouraging words in my direction. Must have noticed me going to pieces. Suddenly I don't remember if its the 3rd round or the 4rth, or heavens help me the 2nd one. My body is retaliating against the brain. Shutting down the blood supply I guess. Dizzy wizzy I go on, 300mtrs, 400mtrs, 500mtrs.. each line both a hope for distance already travelled and curse of the distance yet to be achieved.. Trugged on, without any Dignity I guess, but with a little pride, I was on my 4th round finally doesn't matter how I look, how I feel!

Meanwhile there are walkers, some of them quite brisk.. seems like it takes ages for me to overtake them. Sometimes some real runners.. 2 young guys.. teenagers maybe.. wizz by me.. fast..I wonder at their age, their innocence.. sure enough at 700mark , there they are loitering along, stopped.. When jogging you can't start running, odds are you'll have to stop.

Not so for the black guy. Not just any black guys.. although, there are always a few. This one somehow caught my attention during second or the first round. Not very tall. Wearing white and bright orange leotard. Strange angle to his body, chest and stomach jutting forward, ass pushed back... like a duckling..but running! At a smooth pace as if it was easiest thing in the world. At that time I marvelled at the sight. However again, during this, my ultimate round, when I was almost trashed, he wizzed by me. Thump, thump, thump, thump.. like an engine, unstoppable.

No wonder Indian's cannot be great atheletes I thought. Look at the guy go! And look at me! The thought angered me. Firstly I'm no athlete, and shouldn't be commenting on Indian athletes, atleast not comparing their endeavors with my pathetic performance. However my pride was hurt.. 900 mtr mark, I started running. He was already 50 meters ahead of me.. My body had almost shut down, resigned to thrudge accross to 1345 meters mark and stop. But here I was.. a burst of adernaline. Deep whooping breaths and running! I began following the guy. Began closing the distance. Step by step by step. Thump, thump, thump... Now my lungs were protesting. Not enough oxygen it seemed. I was close to collasping. Throwing up. Could feel the stomach lurching.. But I wanted it bad. I wanted to catchup to that guy!

200 meters to go, I'd was closing the gap! Now it was almost 25meters between us. His pace was relentless, I was at the end of my energy level. But I kept on trying. At 1345 meters, I was still 25 meters behind him.. Had not overtaken him, surely I didn't have that in me.. but there was something else that struck me... I'd kept up with him, almost closed in on him! It was great!!!!! And I finished my fourth round. Equalled up to my day before's performance. 43 mins... Much faster than the last time. Hurray.. Time to go home with pride.

Nd then I saw myself passing the start line again! A min break later I was off! Can't ever do 10KM if I stop at 5KM everytime can I? So here I was, ready to see if I'd finally break the rule. Once off the start line cannot stop, thats the rule. I thought, it was gonna break. But Last round is always the best one. Specially if you're breaking new ground. I was passing 5KM limit for the first time. Was tired but happy.. Finished off the 5th one rather uneventfully. 6.725KM in 55mins... 1.345 KM more then the day before, in the same time! Actually wanted to try the 6th one. But didn't wanna do permanent damage to my poor legs. Need them for another day and all. Remember reading about joint problems et al that do the athletes in. Stopped. Off to the gym for some recreational weightlifting. Gym seems almost like play area after the JOG :)

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9-10-2010

Hip Hip Hurray ~ Here we have a 10K

So here goes the cribbing.. heat , humidity, sore throat, slight fever and lack of sleep. Was at hospital with Naqiyah last night and reached home at 5:30.. then some irritating emails kept me awake setting things right with my chinese collegues. Sleepless morn due to sore throat that I myself had, and was surprised to not be hungry the whole day. Could hardly eat inspite of my gymming..

Well so cribbing aside... I had a big big day. I made a breakthrough in work ~ engaged with a company that many can only dream working with. An enigma, a giant in its category.. Met the big Boss via a cold call, had a great meeting and things off to a great start :)

Back home, wanted to not jog tonight. Too hot, too humid, too tired, too ill.. But have decided to leave for India at the earliest. Probably tommorrow. Means a huge break from Jogging. If I didn't do it tonight I may never achieve 10 KM run... I know myself.. breaks are bad for this sort of things.

Something helped. It was Naqiyah's IPOD touch. Umaima had given it to me to download some applications to it. On a hunch I took it along.

Then it started - a constant thump thump thump at relaxed pace for 7 and a half rounds ~ 85 min. Last 500 meters on a free run of my life.. full throttle. No stops, no breaks no walks!!!! I had 10.115 KM under my belt. First time I laxed the rule. Stopped at 700 meters on 8th Round.. No way to carry on!

But a dream achieved.. now to work on the timing.. 10KM I have you tamed!!!

What I think about myself

Just made a profile on some website. Asked me to describe myself... I tried to have a honest go at it:

Passionate about ideas. Not a funny guy... do get humor but unfortunately humor doesn't get me :) Would be a nerd, but am gregarious. Not really a rock and roll partyboy(love to read too much to party all the time and am passionate about my work).. But not quite a bookworm either ~  never have been one to pass up a chance to rock and roll when the music takes control.. treking, travelling, fun and adventures beckon my soul but am not a vagabound either, being a responsible father, brother, son, friend is important for me. Relaxed but get around. Do business but am not a blood hound. Absolutely average. Your basic down to earth Omega guy with all the cares in the world, who manages to find free time to live inspite of those cares ~ fully!

Death a taboo for 5 and half year old?

Some people misundertand me sometimes.. which is fine. But some do so all the time. I don't like voilence in cartoons, films. The kind that trivialises death. Good guys killing bad guys all the time. As if that is ok. Thats what I don't like.

I personally don't watch television. Atleast not if I can help it. Not because all TV is bad. But i think it extracts a price, in terms of my time. My time is pretty limited with all the things that call for my attention. Also I do think with TV it will be all too easy to park Naqiyah in front of TV and do my work. I think easy way is not always the right way.

However today on FM, while driving - News came up - 9 soldiers of NATO died in Afghanistan in Helicopter crash. 29 injured in Delhi in foot overbridge crash. Bridge being made in preparation for commonwealth etc etc.

Naqiyah was with me, asked me about it. I explained to her, that some good soldiers died in air crash. And some guys got injured when bridge collasped. She understood.. Asked me where Aghanistan was. What commonwealth games were etc etc. I explained the best I could. End of discussion.

Later at night, saw a missed call from Umaima's home. Was too late.. Found her online and asked her about it, since if Naqiyah calls, she ususally leaves a Voice Message. Umaima was upset. Said Naqiyah was talking about how 9 good soilders died. Some builders died etc.

I asked her if Naqiyah seemed traumatised? upset? sad? I was infact quite taken aback.Worried. But no, Naqiyah just was talking about it casually. Not upset, but definitely it was something she remembered. And made it a point to tell her mom.

Umaima feels I did wrong thing. To explain to her the news item. I should have changed the subject. Ignored it or something.

I think I did the right thing. Death is fact of life. It has not to be trivialised. But nither it has to be made a taboo. By hiding it, avoiding discussing it, u are leaving the child raw. Unprepared for it. But death can come at any time. Any instance, in any form.  Sure shoving it in her face is also wrong. I would want my daughter to have nice, innocent, happy childhood. Not a morbid one full of thoughts of death and dying.

So I did some searching. Found lots of resources on internet which address this very issue. Many people are concerned about their children's coping with, or questions about death. Some are unlucky. Their children have had someone near and dear who died. And they seem to not be able to know, how to help their children cope. Others just have children like my Child.. curious. Wanting to know more.

I was concerned. However lot of reading seemed to come up with unnanimous opinion. Hiding, changhing subject, avoiding or making it a taboo does not mean children don't know about death. They know it.. They just get mixed and wrong information about it. Get feeling that we are upset by talking about death and dying. Understand that this topic is bad.. a taboo. Hence get feeling that death is bad, to be feared. This will inevitably mean, they will be more obsessed and scared with death. Unable to deal with the issue.

On contrary if you discuss it in dispassionate manner. Explain the questions when they arise. You calm them. They take it as one more fact of life. Not something to rejoice in, but something which is true. Like fire burns or germs are bad for u. Facts of life. By hiding it we don't avoid the fact! Similarly by refusing to talk about death we don't avoid it.

Ofcourse Umaima feels I always find a way to make 'Internet' agree with me, and i'm wrong. She feels it quite strongly too. She thinks 5 1/2 is too young to answer Naqiyah's question about what it means that helicopter crashed and 9 soilders died. If you dear reader have got your two bits about it. I'm quite keen to know. Is there any right age for letting kids know that people do die ( by the way Naqiyah already is quite aware that people die, this news item was not the breaking of innocence in the matter)

Happenstances

Ladies, Gents and countrymen.... life is not about living. It is about experiencing. That is what I'm wont to do. I experience, indulge, inculcate, imbibe, aquaint, apply. Rather voluptuosly so. I immerse myself daily in the stream of happenstance.

Yes, happenstance, that's what I feel, my hour to next hour is guided by. A friend happens to call, we happen to meet, we happen to go to a mall, we happen to make a plan to setup some businesses and companies.. Plans present, plans for future. Read, write, plan, argue, think, play, cook, drink, chat, learn, earn,  love... life! That's today.

I go to dentist for Naqiyah, it happens to be in a new mall which I don't know about, I happen to visit Daiso ~ a Japanese chain super store, and happen to come across myriad thinga-ma-jigs and stuff which I didn't even know I ever wanted.. and buy, buy and buy.. indulge in orgy of consumer.. Happenstance. I use those things today.. create a case for why a canvas & and easel would make perfect gifting idea for BMW.. why Chinese style top, which is tossed in air rather than on ground, is perfect gift idea for banks and companies wanting to showcase excellence and performance  and create an impromptu presentation and case for corporate gifting  company that world is waiting for. Happenstance. From Japanese style kite, to solid steel soap, to train set that is my childhood dream come true. Possesed. Exhibited. Used. Applied. Happenstances all!

From a day to the next.. from moment to next, I live by happenstance. I amuse myself wondering what I will be doing next. Because as things are at present, I actually don't usually know.

That's why I take Siesta from the blogging. Not because I've nothing to say. People who know me, know painfully all too well... I always have something to say!

So to give them all a break ~ and make the blog seem less like puke or garbage dump  of daily happenstances and incidences..I resist the urge...