Vah re vah lifey

So how does one feel when they're working on a project with no precedents for success accross multiple continents for three years,  and it comes to conclusion? They feel as I do... Vah re Vah !... Disbelievers were  legion. The small voice at the back of my voice the worst of them. Faith, trust, instinct and rational were my guiding lights. From guy in Tunisia, to Paris, to Bulgaria, to Ukraine, India to China to South Africa to Australia, Jordan to Dubai to Qatar to Egypt to Saudi... many were involved, are involved sometimes fleetingly... sometimes showing the way, sometimes throwing light onsome thing missed, sometimes burning midnight oil in pursuit of accomplishing the technical challenge.. and mostly out of pure commercial interest. I've funded it, nourished it, nurtured it, incubated it, instigated it, concieved it... its my baby. I never doubted it was possible. Only problem was whether it was possible by me or not.  Maybe i'd giveup in sight of myraid issues that seemed inexplicably to come up out of the blue. To giveup at when faced with roadblock of egos, prejudices, cajolings, threats and worst of all, snide laughter, comment here and a comment there telling me 'man you're going at it for x years now.. forget it, its never gonna happen'.


To be fair I did not make it happen single handedly. I trusted blindly, people who were otherwise not trustworthy, who'd proved on upteen occasions to be untrustworthy. Thats what I did. I trusted even when trust was not deserved. I paid when even the payment was not warranted. I gifted where there was no gifting due. I did what was always above and beyond the call of duty. This resulted in magic. People reciprocated. They supported me. Often times reluctantly surprised maybe at their own actions. Many a times some went back on their words and needed to be cajoled. At other's I took care of their perceived needs and interests. Varied needs. Varied interests. Exotic vacations, pleasures - done. Expensive electronics - done. Ego boosting - done. Exciting future prospects~dreams of grandure to be shown - done. Even threats and angry posturing - done! I was generous mostly, hard sometimes. However I doggedly pursued it. 

Not to say its over. But can certainly say its a start. I got first order 2000 pcs for the product that took this long to bring to fruitation. I learnt something. I learnt a lot. 2000 pcs can never makeup for my efforts, time invested, costs... sure! But I don't care... 2000 pcs is vindication of my baby being born to the world. Whether I recover the costs or not, the baby's been born, the development cycle has been fruitful, the concept has been concieved, executed and completed. This is a big victory for me.

I'm a man with the ideas. I'm the man without a plan. I know what to do. I know always what to do. I just don't know how to go about it in optimum dispassionate, take it or leave it way. For me, my way or the highway never works. I'm the guy who calls the guy who he's lending money to, a friend in far way country, calls  the guy to ensure the guy confirms and gives details of his bank account so I can transfer the sum. I just did.  Me... lets just say I can understand why I'm unbearable, I don't march with the band. My steps are always random. So I can't dance with a partner. Alone, I'd dance away to glory. Jive, move  to the music, groove.. I can feel the rythm, but keep step, repeat step, not so easy. Not to say i'm not accomodating. I'm just exasperating. I know why mine chose to not be mine. Its obvious.

I am most reasonable guy who never does a sensible thing. How dumb is that!

But that aside, today I'm happy. Not that i'm jumping with glee or anything. Its true that baby being born is culmination of all the efforts invested in the baby, but there is no gurantee that baby will survive to produce fruitful returns on investment. For me today is triumph of having stood ground. Not taken no for an answer. For once I believed in my own hunch, created that which I concieved and never, never gave up!

I made egg curry andhra style (tarmarind being key ingrediant of the curry) tonight. Small celebration. some ingrediants were missing, dhana powder, curry leaves, green chillies( these I simply forgot to add), but all in all turned out delicious. I undercooked the eggs, over cooked the mustard seeds, undercooked the onions, over did the pinch of sugar.. but it seems it all balanced itself out. It turned out ok. Delicious. Got my bloody mary, nd the egg curry, nd made a delicious night out of it.

I still do have a problem. It takes me 2 hrs on an average to put togather a dish or dishes. Atleast 2 or sometimes 3 hrs. Never less.  Am slow. I know. But don't know how to resolve it. I am forgetful. Meticulous while washing things. Concentious when cutting things. Open the drawer and forget what I'm looking for. Open the fridge for tomato juice for bloody mary and close it after grabbing a bite of cheese. Keep going back to the computer to see my fav vah chef reexplain the ingrediants and order in which to cook them, and after seeing it upteen time, do it wrong...

My friend Ali used to say, I'm glitchy. I always used to leave a bug in his system when I used to maintain computers for a living. My ex-wife used to say, I leave bugs so that I can be back to her place again ' this is when we'd just met'. Jinxed, glicthy or just forgetful. Guilty as charged.

Today did one more thing that needed doing, and was not happening. A deal, business deal was not going through. 8 months of negotiations. Back and forth between two parties. Me in the middle. Not going through. Today I think I culminated it. Power of persuasion. If I may say so, I impressed myself.  its an important deal.  Will add horizontally to my business. Give my company longetivity and options when considering that just now I'm fixed to a niche. Good deal. I pushed hard. Pushed intelligently. Showed the way. Created options, and was diplomatic. When two parties are involed and me in the middle, I'm never one doing anything. I suggest but suggestions are not mine. My ideas I plant. Compulsions I sow. I work not for the glory but the goal. Today did just that... Happy!

Also today someone told me they learnt an important lesson from me. A dogged seemingly thickheaded guy who's been source of much problems for me. After busting him in coordination with my client in turkey for about an hour, at the end of which he was pleading that we better just hand him the knife and he'll kill himself its better. Soon after he said one more dumb thing. I complained about quality issues. Reminded him it was not acceptable. His response ' They are still trying to see how to address these in such a low cost product'.. I trashed him completely. No product is low or high cost. Low they can't make money, high we can't buy. Product is always right priced in keeping with its demand, market scenario, current  features and volume etc.  You wouldn't go to Mcdonalds if they gave one burgure out of ten a bad one, and said, its alright, we give you really cheap burgers after all!.. Surprisingly he got it. He said so himself. Thanked me even. Said I showed him light about a new way of thinking about products.  He will no longer excuse low cost as reason for low quality. Surprised. I was surprised. Not like him to accept defeat in such a gentlemanly manner. Surely I'm having second thoughts about him. He's bad for sure. But maybe not immune to change after all!

Seems today was a busy busy day. Morn woke up 8 am.  No time for even brushing my teeth. A very worrying SMS. Hit the comp straight. Issue after issue, problem after problem. All urgent. All clamoring for attention. Alif cheered me up a bit. Rest was work work work. Had a bath and brushed my teeth at 2 pm. Glass of milk and was off to a meeting. Thats where I did the above culmunation of 3 party deal. Was happy, treated myself to a movie. Last airbender. Nice one. I liked the effects. The guy from slumdog millionair was one of the key casts. Good role. M night shyamlan.. this time he's done his homework. Qudos.  Back home, back to work, invitation from a friend to visit him. Preferably with some girlfriends, he was home alone for few days. I have non. Sad. Informed him asmuch. Didn't believe me. What to do. Its the truth.  He didn't like it, it seems, when I was ready to go, he told me he'd got an urgent call, plans had changed. Relieved. I'm not a social creature. Happier on my PC. Cooking. Surfing. Reading.  Listened to AArash's Donya.. also cross fade and others.. awesome.

Vahchef on Youtube. Check it out. The guys too good. Smiling always. Genuinely explaining every step of the receipe and why he does what he does. I've tried some of them. Non has turned out as intended, as expected. But I don't care. He's cool. I love him. Continue watching and apeing him. 

Calledup my friend in paris. 12:00 am dubai time.  Congratulated him on finishing the project. Then calledup my friend in Ukraine. Needed someone to talk to. Was feeling lonely. Don't have any friends in dubai I can just talk to. Sad.