Death a taboo for 5 and half year old?

Some people misundertand me sometimes.. which is fine. But some do so all the time. I don't like voilence in cartoons, films. The kind that trivialises death. Good guys killing bad guys all the time. As if that is ok. Thats what I don't like.

I personally don't watch television. Atleast not if I can help it. Not because all TV is bad. But i think it extracts a price, in terms of my time. My time is pretty limited with all the things that call for my attention. Also I do think with TV it will be all too easy to park Naqiyah in front of TV and do my work. I think easy way is not always the right way.

However today on FM, while driving - News came up - 9 soldiers of NATO died in Afghanistan in Helicopter crash. 29 injured in Delhi in foot overbridge crash. Bridge being made in preparation for commonwealth etc etc.

Naqiyah was with me, asked me about it. I explained to her, that some good soldiers died in air crash. And some guys got injured when bridge collasped. She understood.. Asked me where Aghanistan was. What commonwealth games were etc etc. I explained the best I could. End of discussion.

Later at night, saw a missed call from Umaima's home. Was too late.. Found her online and asked her about it, since if Naqiyah calls, she ususally leaves a Voice Message. Umaima was upset. Said Naqiyah was talking about how 9 good soilders died. Some builders died etc.

I asked her if Naqiyah seemed traumatised? upset? sad? I was infact quite taken aback.Worried. But no, Naqiyah just was talking about it casually. Not upset, but definitely it was something she remembered. And made it a point to tell her mom.

Umaima feels I did wrong thing. To explain to her the news item. I should have changed the subject. Ignored it or something.

I think I did the right thing. Death is fact of life. It has not to be trivialised. But nither it has to be made a taboo. By hiding it, avoiding discussing it, u are leaving the child raw. Unprepared for it. But death can come at any time. Any instance, in any form.  Sure shoving it in her face is also wrong. I would want my daughter to have nice, innocent, happy childhood. Not a morbid one full of thoughts of death and dying.

So I did some searching. Found lots of resources on internet which address this very issue. Many people are concerned about their children's coping with, or questions about death. Some are unlucky. Their children have had someone near and dear who died. And they seem to not be able to know, how to help their children cope. Others just have children like my Child.. curious. Wanting to know more.

I was concerned. However lot of reading seemed to come up with unnanimous opinion. Hiding, changhing subject, avoiding or making it a taboo does not mean children don't know about death. They know it.. They just get mixed and wrong information about it. Get feeling that we are upset by talking about death and dying. Understand that this topic is bad.. a taboo. Hence get feeling that death is bad, to be feared. This will inevitably mean, they will be more obsessed and scared with death. Unable to deal with the issue.

On contrary if you discuss it in dispassionate manner. Explain the questions when they arise. You calm them. They take it as one more fact of life. Not something to rejoice in, but something which is true. Like fire burns or germs are bad for u. Facts of life. By hiding it we don't avoid the fact! Similarly by refusing to talk about death we don't avoid it.

Ofcourse Umaima feels I always find a way to make 'Internet' agree with me, and i'm wrong. She feels it quite strongly too. She thinks 5 1/2 is too young to answer Naqiyah's question about what it means that helicopter crashed and 9 soilders died. If you dear reader have got your two bits about it. I'm quite keen to know. Is there any right age for letting kids know that people do die ( by the way Naqiyah already is quite aware that people die, this news item was not the breaking of innocence in the matter)